


feel you, in front of your eyes

by dayseyes



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Fluff, Getting Together, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-23
Updated: 2019-07-23
Packaged: 2020-07-09 08:48:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,906
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19884880
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dayseyes/pseuds/dayseyes
Summary: In days that seemed so distant and the dream that was so close, Taeil laughed from the second moment after he met Johnny.





	feel you, in front of your eyes

**Author's Note:**

> The title is an edited line from "Feelings" by Jeong Sewoon.
> 
> Prompt: #N-276
> 
> The prompt asked for a day-dreamer!Taeil, but there's barely explicit daydreaming, I apologize in advance.

It was a slow day.

Neither Johnny or Taeil had the desire to move around, much less getting out of the younger's apartment. 

Taeil lied down on the spot where he woke up this morning on Johnny's couch taking all the space available for himself. He was clad in a fresh sweater belonged to his giant of a friend, a very effective piece of cloth for him to get lost into. Said friend sat on the floor instead, not caring at all that Taeil hogged all his seating spaces. Johnny used Taeil's stomach as a makeshift headrest with his back leaning to the couch. Taeil felt the warmth slowly seeping in from the contact. Such contrast from his wet and very cold neck. Water droplets traveled down from his damp hair, leaving goosebumps on its trail. Taeil tempted to run his hand onto Johnny's hair, wondering if the other could be warm enough to calm his occasional shiver, and also maybe the sound of his heart beating that was honestly too loud for this moment. 

He didn't know if it from the delivery food they ordered, which they overestimated the amount of food they need and thus nearly fall into a food coma (or more like Taeil would if Johnny wasn't one of the biggest eater Taeil ever get to know) or if the heaviness inside his body came from something else. It pushed him down slowly, deeply, into the too big of a sweater, into the only pillow Johnny had on his bed, into the delves and gaps of the couch that Taeil could feel flutter quietly every time Taeil took a long breath. His ears picked the sound of Johnny and his camera, of the fan set on low setting, and the slight rustle from the plastic bags of the delivered food on the coffee table. Taeil felt the gentle air around them yet, it was also as if Taeil was floating on top of a shallow end from a very deep body of water. 

Music was playing on Johnny's phone. Usually, Taeil rather shares his own playlist and Johnny rather let his friends play their songs, however this time it was Taeil asking Johnny to show his playlist. He started without expectation at first, just filled with curiosity. Then just like any other things Taeil learning about what kind of person Johnny Suh was, his playlist was the same. His playlist felt like a story, like different moments of a person's life that define who they are. Wide range of genres. It was like Johnny and his clothes, Johnny and the limitless subjects of his photography, Johnny and his many hobbies and talents.

Taeil couldn't help but recounted their times together and his memory of Johnny. He looked at his musing, Johnny was focused on going through the picture in his camera’s gallery. 

Taeil closed his eyes then. Going from the soft shade blanketing the apartment to pitch black. The nothingness that always been so filled and loud for Taeil. But this time, something felt different.

He saw the window that provided the only light source inside Johnny's place first, neither of them bother to switch on the lights. Breeze was flowing freely through it and Taeil felt like it could lift him up if he let it. Taeil was still on the couch and Johnny was still on the floor. He sat right up, and instead of his stomach, Johnny rested his head on Taeil's thigh and he had a hand on the side Johnny's face, he still had his camera on his fingers. Breeze flew through the strands of Johnny's hair and his, their hair sticking up like they were in underwater. It would be perfect if only that Johnny could use his camera to properly capture the moment.

Taeil opened his eyes. The absence of warmth was what he noticed first. His gaze was met with the lense of Johnny’s camera, staring straight at him. Taeil liked the thought that he might be staring straight to Johnny too, even with a medium between them. The second thing he noticed was the sound of the shutter going off.

“Don’t you get bored taking pictures of me?” That was the first real conversation since both of them woke up. 

Johnny didn’t answer immediately, as if mulling it for a bit. “Never really thought that. But no, Hyung. Not bored at all.”

Taeil braved himself for a question he always wanted to ask Johnny. “What about, the Why?” 

Johnny hummed and made a questioning sound. Taeil watched him (what he guessed as) going through his camera gallery. 

“Like why do you keep taking pictures of me?”

Johnny stopped fiddling with his camera. He sat down again but this time he was right in front of Taeil’s face. Johnny was so near Taeil didn’t dare to look anywhere but Johnny’s eyes. 

Whatever it was, Johnny perhaps satisfied searching for  _ something  _ in Taeil’s expression because finally, after what seemed like forever, Johnny finally answered. This was a question Taeil never dared to voice out before, something he never dares imagine what the answer would be like. 

“Hyung, do you know that you are really handsome?”  _ What.  _ “No, but like Really Handsome. You are very — ”

Taeil shut Johnny’s mouth with his hand before he could continue, “Stop. Stop. I get it.” The older choked. “ _ Johnny _ , that was embarrassing. Oh my god.” 

Johnny laughed behind Taeil’s hand, eventually he peeled Taeil’s hand from his face and held both of the older’s hands together. “Why can’t you take a compliment, Hyung?” He teased. Taeil had nowhere to hide since Johnny was holding both of his hands as captive. 

Taeil buried his face into his shoulder then, finally looking away from Johnny’s eyes. “You’re making fun of me,” he whined. 

Johnny chuckled. Cheeky little shit. “No. I wasn’t!” Johnny exclaimed, offended.

The younger calmed down a bit. His grip on Taeil’s hands changed, became gentle and tender, it felt like he was being cradled delicately.

“Do you want to see?” Johnny started slowly.

“See what?”

Johnny let go of his hands. Taeil was confused at first but realization dawned on him when Johnny showed him his camera. 

“Your pictures?”

Taeil just realized that even though they had been friends for a while he never saw the content on one of Johnny’s prized objects. 

“Yes.” He said quietly, gingerly. Like he was talking to a newborn baby. In some way, cameras were Johnny’s baby. 

They changed their positions. Johnny was back to his previous position, leaning against the couch. Taeil leveled himself on his elbow and rested his chin on Johnny’s shoulder, peering over to look at the camera’s tiny screen. 

The first picture he saw was a closed up of himself in his workplace uniform in a serene expression. The colors were soft, or the quality was soft like there was a dreamy kind of filter on top of it. Something he sure Johnny and Ten had a proper word for it.

“I took this from outside.”  _ Outside? Through the glass? _

Johnny continued, “To be honest, I wasn’t planning to enter the store at first.”

“The convenience store is awfully close to our university but that was the first time I was aware that it exists in the first place, I never noticed it before even though I walk through that street so many times before. Usually, convenience store would lit really brightly it hurts, but yours — the lighting, looked like it nobody touched it for a decade.” 

He paused to look at Taeil. The older could tell Johnny was afraid he might offend Taeil in some way. He snorted, ‘nobody touched it for a decade’ was a damn compliment, and Taeil thought that such place deserved no such thing. “Go on,” Taeil whispered since they were so close, fully for Johnny’s sake. 

Johnny took a breathe before he resumed, “So, well — I guess during the day the storefront is even more unremarkable, but at night, which other places lit up really strongly with the neon lights and everything, it — somehow standout, it makes sense even though it should be the opposite. And then I saw you, Hyung.” Taeil hummed. 

“The lighting was shit — but that makes it challenging, Ten and I got really interesting pictures in that place. Also kinda remind me of the convenience store back in America.”

“All in all, it was a pretty charming place, especially that they have the one and only, Moon Taeil.” 

The said charm shoved Johnny on the shoulder.  _ Classic Johnny. _

Taeil knew that Johnny’s story didn’t really explain anything about his question and curiosities. But hearing Johnny talked like this was nice, and he rather listens to Johnny’s stories behind the pictures he took. So Taeil let the thought sleep and told Johnny to continue, that he wanted to see more of his work. 

Johnny was more than delighted to do so. 

Taeil still thought that pictures of him didn’t really hold anything remotely ‘aesthetic’, however, this was Johnny and his art, and Johnny’s  _ good.  _ Listening to him talk Taeil understood that the worth was from Johnny himself. He made it worthwhile. Anything Johnny captured on his camera was worthwhile, anything.

_

  
  


Time blurred together for Taeil. 

It wasn’t hard to do so with his job. He worked in a washed-out convenience store that confused its identity as a small mart sometimes. The store was slightly tucked away from the main street, a shy away from all the hip and pretty shops but just right for the stray university students who rather go through the quieter and shorter road to their campus, this was also how Taeil found the store in the first place. The owners — an elderly couple who run it for their pension — saw an opportunity on the heavy-eyed students and decided to open the store over midnight and Taeil took the first chance to take the job. 

The store was old and it didn’t bother to hide it. Paint cracking and chipping away at the corner of the walls, showing layers of different colors that once brighten up the place. Wood and plastic racks were stationed next to each other, besides the new and shiny cooler lit up by LED was a yellowed ice cream freezer, negative space between the faded posters of famous world stars like Freddie Mercury was filled with whatever current female idols popular enough to be the face for soju companies, and if you watch your own shadows you found out there were three different shades on the floor from the variations of lights on the ceilings. 

It wasn’t hard to feel as if you step into an alternate universe when you pass through the frosted glass door, especially since Taeil already has his own world with him wherever he went. 

Even with the dull routine of being a cashier and the stillness of the night, it was enough for Taeil (and to an extension, the customers too) to create his own bubble among the business that never ends in Seoul. A bubble of time, thoughts, and free wi-fi. Also, Taeil really needed the money. 

_

  
  


The store’s door creaked noisily, later followed by the automatic bell system that Taeil still consciously expect even though it always happened. It didn’t deter Taeil from his inner world though, already mastering how to function even when his conscious was in different places. 

Taeil had a musical parade that he needed to lead, he was quite occupied by his solo. 

A snap pulled Taeil away from his inner-rendition, wide-eyed as the image in his mind cut away abruptly like someone turns off the lights of the room, but instead, it left his conscious blank and flared him into the environment around him, startling Taeil into the process of searching the source of the sound. 

He found the customer who just entered standing still in front of the entrance just right above the oversized ‘welcome’ rug. The customer — who was tall enough to almost cover the store’s entrance with his figure — had a camera with him which definitely the source where the sound came from. Taeil relaxed when he registered the camera wasn’t facing him, it was facing to the interior of the store instead. 

The customer himself, maybe it was because of his figure or maybe it was just the way he held his body, had such a presence that quietly would make you aware of him, Taeil surprised he didn’t notice it the moment he entered the store. The camera looked so small on his hands, yet it still hid his face obscurely, Taeil could only make out a sliver of a clear brown eye from his angle, clarity visible even under the store’s uneven lighting. Then, in a second their eyes met. 

The hold on his camera faltered, he slowly lowered the camera revealing a man with handsome features behind it. 

He offered Taeil a sheepish smile, “Sorry.” He grimaced, “I should’ve had ask if that was okay first.”

Aside from bewildering Taeil, the guy really didn’t do anything wrong, at least to Taeil’s knowledge there wasn’t any restriction that exists for photography here. So Taeil smiled, “Nah, it’s okay, you can do whatever you want.”

The guy threw back a bright grin at Taeil, very energized even at the late hour. But then it softened, into a quirk of a smile before he finally looked away and went back to his camera. 

The customer stayed there for a few minutes, sounds of camera’s shutter and feet shuffling filled the silence. It felt way more than a few minutes for Taeil, he couldn’t go back to his previous chained of thought nor was he comfortable enough to blatantly staring at the customer. His eyes went from spots to spots, details to details, never focusing while his hearing was hyper-aware of every little noise. 

He left after purchasing some random candy bars that were available on the counter, with one last snap and this time Taeil was gazing straight into his camera’s lens. He gave Taeil one last smile and muttered a ‘Thank you’ just loud enough for Taeil to hear. Leaving Taeil with his thoughts only as company. 

For the first time ever, Taeil wished he had a customer’s name under his lips

_

  
  


“I couldn’t believe we didn’t meet earlier.” Johnny pouted as he handed Taeil his coffee, it made Taeil laughed. They were sitting on the plastic tables set on the front of the store.

An exaggerated gag came from behind them, it made them turn around and found Donghyuck was theatrically choking on imaginary ramen, which made his  _ actual _ ramen in danger of being spilled from his hand. This just made Taeil laughed harder, his mouth full of teeth. 

“Ah, Hyung!” Donghyuck finally sat down with them, the look he gave to Johnny was that of utter devastation, “Please stop acting cute,  _ please _ . It’s unbecoming!” he tried to stay stern but a grin slipped into his face in the end. 

Johnny clicked his tongue and reached out to Donghyuck, he went in to  _ kill. _ With a tickle. 

Donghyuck shrieked and flailed away, jostling the table dangerously for the poor still-cooking cup ramen on top of it. The youngest face went red, he involuntarily hiccuped and giggled from Johnny’s relentless attack, ending up choking on air for real. 

Johnny grinned victoriously. 

“Anyway — ”

“Objection!” Donghyuck cried.

“ — It’s crazy how we only hang out now, especially since so many of our friends know each other?” Johnny gazed at Taeil who was in front of him, he had an easy smile on his face.

Taeil sighed he knew what he meant, his life would be so much easier if Johnny was part of his friend circle, at least he’d be one of the saner ones, “At least we have a cute meet-up story.” Taeil pondered slightly, Johnny even had the day they met documented, not every friend had that. 

Donghyuck made a questionable face at that, but he didn’t say anything and just ate his ramen quietly. 

Johnny though, his eyes shined and crinkled, and Taeil watched the way the corner of his mouth slowly curled up, lifting up his face with an invisible force that made Taeil’s throat tightened. 

“We do, don’t we?” Johnny said and Taeil could feel the wonder in his tone. 

Taeil vaguely registered Donghyuck humming something that suspiciously sounded like one of those wedding bells from Hollywood movies, but he didn’t really pay attention so he couldn’t be sure. 

_

  
  


Johnny was a romantic.

Taeil knew this, was being made aware of this fact multiple times, and (what he hoped) was at the other end of his romantic endeavors. 

But still, it didn’t lessen any nervousness he felt right now, even though he knew what to expect, or what he wanted to expect. Taeil didn’t want to get ahead of himself. 

They had a somewhat romantic hang-outs, pushing their own platonic boundaries. This though, Johnny reserving a private balcony on top of his favorite art exhibition space? It gave Taeil jitters and made his thoughts go wild and fizzled out at the same time. He went back and forth from imagining every scenario possible to stilling himself and told himself to be patient and be grounded for whatever going to happen.

At least Donghyuck picked his outfit tonight.

It was a secret only Taeil would know, but he imagined being together with Johnny with the frequency than what even himself was more comfortable with. Not just sharing companionship, no, even though that was something Taeil really valued in his friendship with Johnny but Taeil had the desire to share touches, like hands that just search each other by themselves, or like a face resting into the other’s neck; he had the desire for the look Johnny gave him whenever he thought the older wasn’t aware, thinking he was too focused on his inner world to notice Johnny’s attention on him, Taeil wanted to be able to address them and laugh about it; Taeil even imagined if one of them was in an emergency they were each first contact person. Taeil wasn’t a person who was openly romantic but he did want to share one of his most intimate love languages to Johnny,  _ with _ Johnny. 

Johnny was already waiting for Taeil when he stepped into the balcony. He was met with a bright grin and an equally bright eyes that he was so used to be given. 

“Youngho.” He could not help using Johnny’s other name. He looked even more handsome than usual if that even possible with the fairy lights softening his features. 

Johnny walked over to Taeil then, close enough for Taeil to stretched his neck to meet with the other’s eyes. Being much closer, Taeil could sense the younger was nervous as well, the bright eyes were also filled with thinly veiled franticness. Taeil wanted to laugh and told Johnny to just get this over with. But he kept it in and waited for Johnny. 

He offered Taeil his hand, “Let’s eat?” 

The question in Jonny’s tone made Taeil smile. He took Johnny’s hand, making sure his hold was secure before whisking Johnny with him towards their table with a beautiful sight of Seoul’s at night. 

“ _ Yes _ ,” Taeil breathed out, “I’m starving!”

___

Both of them ditched their seating to lay down on the synthetic grass covering the balcony’s floor. 

“Maybe I should’ve made a reservation somewhere in the mountains, but we wouldn’t have this beautiful polluted sight if I did.” They weren’t facing each other but Taeil could hear the smile in his voice, and Taeil couldn’t help joining him, face stretched from smiling. 

“Stars? They’ve been around  _ forever.  _ They need to freshen up if they want to compete with our light bulbs, and from the look of it,” Johnny paused, “They. Don’t. Stand. A. Chance.”

Taeil snorted at the quip to climate change. “So do we,” Taeil said, amused. 

Johnny sat up on his elbow abruptly, his build creating a shadow on Taeil’s head, blocking him from the lights. Taeil raised his eyebrow but didn’t say anything. 

Johnny stared at him and Taeil met him in the middle. There was a slight shine on his eyes, and an intense look he recognized Johnny usually reserved when he wanted to say something important. Taeil felt his breath stuttered, he couldn’t look away from Johnny’s eyes, or his eclipsed face with the artificial lighting softening round him. 

“So that’s why,” The younger started. 

The older mouthed ‘Go on,’ Johnny gulped.

“That’s why, because our time is limited to enjoy the beauty of this Earth and the rest of the world — ” 

Taeil was visibly confused but Johnny went on. 

“ — and, so, during this limited time that’s available, if you let me, I’d like to spend it with you, Hyung — ”

Taeil gaped, he didn’t imagine Johnny would confess as if they were the only sole survivor of an apocalyptic world.

“ — _ so _ , would you like to go out with me? Like, to dates.” Johnny’s voice quieted during the end. 

This wasn’t what he expected from Johnny. He expected the younger would be confident, even  _ suave _ or at least tried to be in front of his object of affection, most likely loving and, and he didn’t know — cheeky? Articulate? He didn’t expect to confess while slipping it like that, or maybe he planned it to be like this? He expected  _ he _ was the one going to be flustered by Johnny not the other way around. But,  _ Oh _ , Taeil was so so  _ so _ terribly endeared, the affection he felt, the love ( _ love! _ ) he felt for this man, he truly liked Johnny,  _ so much _ . 

So Taeil couldn’t help but choked out a laugh. And then truly laughed, open-mouthed and eyes shut closed, at the bewildered expression Johnny made. 

The younger just gaped at Taeil silently, didn’t know how to react. 

Still grinning, still high from the utter happiness that engulfed Taeil’s whole body. He bit his lip, trying to calm down for Johnny’s sake. He reached out to cup the back of Johnny’s neck with one hand — he always wanted to do this — and brought their foreheads together. Taeil cheeks’ were strained wonderfully, in the best way possible, from joy. 

Johnny preened at him in wonder. 

“I thought you never ask,” Taeil whispered, “you dork.” 

Johnny let go from Taeil’s grip and squeaked indignantly. Taeil cackled.

“You-you knew? Why didn’t you say anything?” He whined, “We could do this so much faster!”

Taeil wheezed, “And what? Miss out this pollution-gazing?” 

“Hyung!” He wailed, mostly for theatrics because there on Johnny’s face was an unadulterated joy that mirrored with Taeil’s own. 

Taeil desperately wanted to kiss Johnny, but in his position, it would be difficult. So he lifted himself up and left a peck under the side of Johnny’s chin. 

The only way to describe Johnny at the moment was,  _ overwhelmed. _

He hesitated at first, Johnny wrapped an arm around Taeil and brought him closer until no space was left between them. He buried his face onto the curve of Taeil’s neck, holding the older tightly. Taeil circled his arm around Johnny and rest his other hand gently on top of the younger’s head. Taeil stayed quiet when he felt shaky breaths coming from Johnny and just hold the other deeper. 

“I’m glad,” Johnny mouthed on his skin. 

Taeil hummed a melody softly in response. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reaching here, I hope you find some enjoyment in this still inadequate writing :' I know this is not the most coherent piece and I feel sorry as a writer, but I hope, i do justice for johnil and the prompter, in my clumsily grasping way. anyway, support content-creators! and i love you! have a kind day everyone!!!! 
> 
> p.s. thanks to sigrid, carly rae jepsen, and jeong sewoon for pulling me through this
> 
> also thanks to the wonderful mods!


End file.
